To My Friends....Thank you.

I wonder who my friends are?

Do you ever wonder that?  Do you ever ponder who would be there if you needed them?  I used to ask myself that a lot.  Being single the majority of the time tends to raise that question.  So does having parents who are out of the picture and zero siblings to boot.  When I ran through this exercise, I thought of many friends but crossed them all off the list due to my self-imposed criteria; he lives too far, she has kids to care for, that friend is already going through something, I’m too independent to be an imposition...the list went on.   Once the majority of my friends were crossed off, I was left with a handful of people I felt I could call.  Maybe three.  Actually...just one.  

This exercise always left me feeling alone and vulnerable yet I still couldn’t help but wonder who my real friends were.

Until one day God showed me.

To my motorcycle friends who filled my Face Book feed by changing your profile and cover photos to pictures of us together...you all brought a smile to my face during a time when I thought my smile was broken.  Thank you.

To my friends who immediately took me under your wing and gave me a place to stay for as long as I needed....and when I’d transition back to my house and you'd not allow 24 hours to pass without checking in on me...Thank you.

To my friend who boarded my dogs that fateful morning and took my shirts to the dry cleaners after noticing that my closet door was opened slightly when the incident occurred...thank you.  When you and another friend gave my room a makeover so I could sleep more peacefully at night...I was eternally grateful.

To everyone who texted, messaged or called...thank you. To this day, the outpouring of love and support still brings me to tears.  

To my friend who came over to hold me while I laid on the floor crying so hard I couldn’t breathe....thank you.  And, thank you for the kindness you showed when you took that large stack of papers from the top of my file box in my closet and meticulously examined each page, one by one.  Thank you for using a scissors to remove teeny pieces of affected paper and throwing the pieces in the garbage where I’d never have to see them again.  I am indebted to you.

To my friend who unconditionally flew out from Chicago to attend Aaron’s service....thank you.  Your visit that one evening was a Godsend.   To the numerous other friends who attended the service in support of me, his family and his friends....thank you.  Your presence meant more to me than I can explain with words.

To the friend who gifted me with a free massage and adjustment, to my friend who sang beautifully and played guitar at Aaron’s service; to everyone who prayed for me, sent sympathy cards, gifted me with books, flowers, trinkets or pieces of jewelry, all from the heart...thank you.  Thank you to those who held me up in church and to those who continue to check in on me. And to my spiritual teachers/friends...thank you for clearing your calendars when I need to come visit.  

I know that's not all; I'm forgetting so many other wonderful ways my friends showed me love during this time.  The end of June is a blur.  July is, too.  God, who am I forgetting?

Prior to any of this happening, I question whether or not I would have shown up for my friends they way they have for me.  I'll never know the answer to that question.  But, I thank God for His amazing display of what that really looks like. I thank Him for revealing the sheer number of friends that poured love into me from the tiniest of gestures to the grandest.  I know one thing for sure...should any of my friends need me in their time of need, I now know exactly what to do. For my friends didn't just serve the role of healers or supporters, they became my teachers.  And, for that and so much more, I am grateful.  

To think I used to wonder who my friends were....