Layers of Paint

A letter to my little cottage on 14th Street:

Dear Home,

A friend of mine suggested I write this letter. She said when people get ready to sell their houses, writing a letter can help bring closure.   So here goes...

You should know that when my real estate agent pulled up to your curb, I hadn’t even stepped out of the car before telling her I’d take the house.  I knew you were the one.  She insisted I see the inside, though, before making a decision.  After stepping through the threshold of the doorway, I repeated “I’ll take it”.  She implored me to look at the entire house.  So, I walked through and eventually made my way into both bedrooms where I silently picked out my room which looked out into the fenced backyard, beautifully lined with oleanders blooming with pink flowers.  The yard was lush, green and boasted five grapefruit and two orange citrus trees, all with trunks that were painted pristine white.  I signed the contract within the hour.

As a kid, my mom and I moved around a lot.  The longest we ever stayed in one place was five years.  We’ve been together for fifteen years!  That’s the longest I’ve lived in one place my entire life.  This is also the only place that has ever felt like home.

You’ve seen me grow from a young and newly divorced woman who couldn’t even cook for herself into the mature adult that I am today...who still can’t cook for herself.  But, you know I make the effort ~ and, yes, a crock pot does so count.  

We’ve been through a lot during the years.  You received a fresh coat of paint on the walls after every storm that brewed in my life;  every layer, every color, was a witness to the tears, pain and struggle but with each new color came the promise of hope and a new beginning.

And, there were always new beginnings!  We’ve shared so much laughter, happiness and peace together.   I cherish the fond memories that were created in this very space; memories of all the pets, friends and loved ones that made this house a home.

And there were tragic times.  You and I would see my mom and Aaron draw their last breath in the bedrooms of this home.   

And, another layer of paint was added to your walls with each goodbye; a new color...the hope of yet another new beginning.

My dear home, I have added the last layer of paint.  

I never thought I’d leave here; I thought we’d be together forever.  But here I sit, writing a goodbye letter through the tears.  You’ve been so good to me; this home has seen so much laughter, love, contentment and peace.  I don’t want you to ever forget that.  I know I won’t.  You will always have a piece of my heart.  And, my wish and prayer is that whomever moves into this house will love it and cherish it as much as I have; that they will enjoy good health, happiness and make fond memories here.  

You no longer need to carry the weight of all your layers of paint with me here.  I am in search of new walls; a blank canvas on which to write my next chapter...a story that I hope is filled with hope and a new beginning.